Tonight As I Pray

A Soft Gentle Poem

Tonight as I pray, I always thank God for each new day, but somehow lately I feel as if I’ve gotten nothing done because my heart, just can’t seem to make a decision to go.  I can’t make a decision to stay or to go, and when I feel one step closer, I feel one step back, and going nowhere, goes no where. Way too fast.  

The days are getting old, although I still find joy in them, there’s something more somewhere, finding me, searching me, looking for a place to fit in and call home.  A place where the soft winds blows my name, through his soul.  

A place where peace resides when I am by his side, home.  Only, now, nobody really knows.  The hearts strong desire, to know how much its tired and worn, bring life to my soul.  If only he had known for years my ancient heart built this house for him to stand at the throne.  If only he could have shown. The love in his heart for me but the wind carried it away, that as soon as I would feel lit,  it would quietly pass and drift. 

Maybe time is always the key, sometimes I feel like ive done mastering everything externally. And need to work on me.  Internally.  My soul throbs each and everyday, for the knowledge to grow in me in every possible way. To be prepared for the unknown, because we both know the world we live in is not what it seems, and it could be that one day we wake up and the earth is a different place.  Theres not one hiding place.  And I would be left alone.  Yet my hunger for his heart still yet exists, and if dreams were just meant to be dreams, and not exist, why can’t I stop singing that song, and feeling that emotion and desiring.  

Somewhere hes looking for me, searching for me, trying to find me, but I keep missing him, because maybe my heart is prepared for such a love that would only exist where angels would sing a heavenly tune if the two were to just kiss.  Maybe instead of trying to seek my own…………………